WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT GLEE RIGHT NOW
buckle up bitch, we're about to go for a RIDE bc MIKE CHANG WAS ROBBED
Hi girlies and/or Glee club minorities….
We need to talk about Glee. RIGHT NOW!
Since the start of the evil Miss Rona’s reign, I’ve re-watched Glee three times. When I say this, I mean I watched seasons 1-4 in their entirety and skipped boring episodes in seasons 5 and 6. I’ve started re-watching it for a fourth time since Naya’s passing (RIP😔).
Since I’ve been re-watching for the fourth time……I’ve noticed a lot of things…like how annoying Tina Cohen Chang was….and the most important is that MIKE CHANG WAS ROBBED! Mike was the hottest, most talented man on the show…he should’ve been the lead character! But he wasn’t…WHY?! WHY RYAN MURPHY! sigh…..I think about this at least once a day…😡
I JUST GET SO ANGRY WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE FACT WE COULD’VE HAD AN ENTREE AS THE LEAD CHARACTER BUT THE WRITERS FORCED US TO TAKE A SNACK (Finn). WHY!!!!!!
Anyways, lol. ok. Now to the meat of the newsletter! I saw a VERY troubling ranking in Vulture. It INCORRECTLY ranked Glee performances. SO, I’ve decided to re-rank the top ten for accuracy purposes. I’m a journalist…so ITS MY DUTY TO DO THIS!!
Here we go!
10-Last Name(Kristen Chenoweth)
This one is for my yee haw girlies!! Obvi, an iconic performance from early season 1…..this was an early showcase of their best dancer (ahemm Mike Chang!!!!!).
9- Don't Rain On My Parade (Santana)
FOLKS, I’m a huge fan of this song. I’m also a huge fan of Rachel’s version. HOWEVER, the best character on Glee, Santana, gave a performance that left me with goosebumps! Therefore, she makes the LIST. Unfortunately, she was not backed by Mike Chang…he was in Chicago dancing or something…He should’ve been in NYC!
8- Everybody Talks (Jake and Kitty)
Alright folks. I LOVE this performance. The choreo, the vocals, they SERVED! This was originally ranked at number 10. But Jacob Artist is hot, so I upped this two spots. I did it for the health and welfare of our Republic. 🇺🇸(Mike Chang is hotter)
7-Science Fiction/Double Feature (Santana)
This is a simple simple video based off the ICONIC intro to Rocky Horror Picture Show. I loved it! It, unfortunately, didn’t feature Mike Chang so I had to rank it lower. Sorry! I don’t make the law, I just enforce it!!!
6-Me Against the Music (Santana and Brittnay)
I remember the first time I watched this performance…I was in high school and was stunned by Brittnay’s dance moves and Santana’s vocals. It made me question WHY the two of them were JUST being given the spotlight…..sounds SUSPICIOUS! (Like when Mike Chang was RARELY given the spotlight despite being the most talented man in the cast.)
5-Oops!...I Did It Again (Rachel)
I’m prepared to be dragged for ranking this so high…but I think it deserves it! The arrangement of this iconic pop song is so unique. Plus, Rachel showed she can dance a lil and she has the talent range to do a softer song like this. I love it! (Like I love Mike Chang)🥰
4-Gives You Hell (Rachel)
I love love LOVE this performance. Obvi, Rachel shared with us her entire vocal register with this one. PLUS Mike Chang was given the OPPORTUNITY to remind us ALL how hard he SLAPS.
3-ABC (Tina, Mike, Kurt)
So, as you all know, Tina irritates me. For whatever reason! Her vocals and character are so incredibly annoying. But this performance….was FANTASTIC! Do we think it slaps this hard because Mike Chang was given a lead?! i don’t know…EXCEPT I DO KNOW THAT’S THE REASON!!!!!!
2-Smooth Criminal (Santana and that dude I hate)
OK. This was SOOOOOO iconic. Santana is just….UGH!!! ICON. LEGEND. TALENT! The other dude (Se*astian)….lol. We don’t need to talk about him. He was just background support for Santana to SHINE. WE STAN! (Mike Chang>Se*astian)
1-My Man (Rachel)
My Man is the closing number to one of THE MOST iconic movie musicals of ALL TIME, Funny Girl. Our lord regent Barbara Streisand gave us girlies a PERFORMANCE that shook us for GENERATIONS. The impact of this performance is and will always be UNMATCHED. HOWEVER, Rachel Berry came in a close second with her performance. THE PATHOS she gave was SO POWERFUL. Therefore, we must stan this performance like we do Mike Chang….to infinity and beyond!💥
Well girlies, that’s it! Glee was a cultural reset. But this newsletter reset that cultural reset b/c it re-framed the show around the REAL star, Mike Chang. 🥵
Au revoir!
PS: Aly&AJ still slap…their latest digital is proof of that!!!!
Before this newsletter published, my dear friend Teo decided to write a letter to the editors of The Tea Report:
Dear editor I wonder why Erin hates the iconic Tina Cohen Chang! It is because she and Mike had the longest running relationship in the entire show?🧐Tina was already neglected by the producers she doesn’t need any more hate. I do appreciate the ranking of ABC that was a much too rare spotlight for her.
Respectfully,
A Tina fan
After this newsletter was published, my dear friend Kim wrote a letter to the editors of The Tea Report.
Dear editor: Me Against the Music should’ve been rated higher 🗿 how you gonna give someone just standing on a stage the #1 spot when Santana and Brittney were giving you triple threat talent (vocals, choreo, looks)!!!!